A sign of healing

by mattkeflowers

This weekend I saw my father get remarried. I’ve mentioned to several people that I was going down to Mobile for this event and I was met with a variety of reactions, but in truth the variety seems to be mostly the result of how well a person knows my family situation.

I do not here intend to rehash every facet of the events of my parents divorce, but before I go on I would like to note a few things that inform this moment in the life of Joe Flowers. The first is that I once asked him, if he ever thought he would remarry; each time he told me no. Time and again that subject came up in one form or another and each time it seemed to be met with the same resistance. Each conversation concluded that the grand arrangement of Marriage had been spoiled for him by divorce. Though he had dated a few times since then and even held a relation ship or two, that never seemed to sway his response.

The second point of note is that I have only ever seen my father cry three times that I can recall. The first was at his father’s funeral. The second came when one of his best friends found himself in the throws of divorce. The final time was in a moment when his own divorce and all that came along with it weighed on him so heavily he could not keep it in. Only those few times and all of them in great sorrow.

The final point I wish to make clear is that though Joe Flowers is by no means stoic, I also do not know him to be a man of much emotional expression. Again, only thrice in my life had I known him to feel such grief that it manifested in tears, and rarely had I ever seen him flare up with any sort of real rage. In fact there is only one emotion he is given to let flow freely: happiness. That is the way of the Flowers family I think, or rather it is the way my sister and I have learned to be from watching him. To catch us crying or in profound rage is rare, particularly by contrast to catching us joking around and laughing.

The wedding had proceeded much this way. As we moved about making final preparations we joked and quoted movie and television lines to one another. With each batch of friends who entered the church came jokes, stories and laughter.The tales moved through the many phases of my father’s life, but each came back to the heart of dad’s character. He is a person who enjoys a good joke and a good story. The sort who sees the value in a good hearty laugh. When a delay was needed for the bride to complete her preparations I had no fear, because as I poked my head inside I could see my father holding court for the gathered crowd. They were mostly unaware of the postponing of the event, because they had such delightful company in the jovial man I call my father. Even as the service began he entered through the back of the church and threw his arms open wide, like a great leader expecting applause. He cracked wise about the bigger ring belonging to his bride rather than himself. and at one point made a goofy face at me as we stood up front.

Then as he spoke his vows, his voice cracked. For a moment I glimpsed, or rather heard, the tears. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I’ve known the man for 24 years and never could I have expected it. But even as my own eyes watered, I smiled. I had worried (now and then) that maybe he didn’t take this seriously, that the full weight of the moment was lost on him, but oh, how wrong had I been.

He knew this was momentous. He knew this was important, and I think deep down, he knew this was a sign. More than having met a very lovely woman, it was a sign that he had been healed. Through many hard roads my father’s heart had been hardened, but I think in that moment, he truly felt the healing that God had provided.

In the group at church, we’ve discussed the idea of living in the Kingdom of God here on the Earth. We’ve talked about how what Jesus came and did was but a taste of what was to come. How his actions were the sign of this new Kingdom. I firmly believe that what I saw is a glimpse of the healing that comes in the Kingdom. It is as the Psalmist says, “[The Lord] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Today, I am very thankful for what God has done in healing the hurts my father has known.